“Any questions? Just one”
I thought on the last (or the one before that?) page that Nukey was going to hit Radon’s head with the bottle…a revenge for the drawer with glass or something.
And then he appeared behing Radon, ruining his presentation.
The page had me lol’ing. XD
xD Lovin’ the emote in panel 5.
And you can ignore this part, but to me the ‘Any questions? Just one’ line doesn’t really flow as well as it should… Maybe cuz I think it’s weird a serious guy like Radon would answer his own question that quickly. That or it just takes out the funny in his surprise…
Thanks for your honesty.
I suppose that was my way of depicting his surprise, in a casual but -heywaidaminit way, but if it’s a jokefail it’s a jokefail.
Mainly it’s the ‘Just one.’ portion. I mean, it’s rare a person would say that phrase without it being in either a question format, especially if it’s in reply to themselves. It sounds more natural to say ‘I have one’ instead, particularly in this setting since he does have an audience.
tl;dr: Scripting is hard. xP Bonus points to you for being so awesome with taking criticism by the way. I really hope I’m not becoming annoying.
Nah you’re not annoying. I appreciate your criticism. Constant asslicks never helped anyone.
I suppose my decision to say ‘just one’ instead of something like ‘I have one’ is from reading it out loud to myself. “Any questions? I have one’ when you’re answering yourself I feel is a bit more awkward phonetically I guess. It was meant to be spoken more rapidly, but I can see your point.
And yes, he does have an audience and he’s answering himself. I was doing that intentionally. XD
I was gonna point this same thing out, but then I read the comments and figured I’d just add my thing here.
Liked the page as a whole, but that one line really didn’t seem to flow, maybe it would have worked better if it had had it’s own text bubble it would have worked better. -nods-
or maybe if he asked ‘Any Questions’ and then there was a text bubble from the crowd saying something like ‘Who’s that?!’
Anyway… on to another subject I absolutely LOVE Nukey in the fourth panel. He’s just like ‘sup?’ as he wanders out drinking XD
NAME — Get a Gravatar
NOTE - You can use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
©2010-2013 James Lacroix | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress
| Subscribe: RSS
| Back to Top ↑